The Truth in Thailand
What does it mean to be truthful? In the west we think that there is an easy answer – tell the facts, don’t hide anything, say it as it is. But it turns out to be a confusing fact that other cultures don’t agree with this definition. Thais have a very different relationship with the “truth”. We call it lying, but that is just our own cultural bias, and it is more of a judgment than a correct assessment.
Is there a correct definition for the “truth”?
The western model of truth often places truth ahead of other considerations, like being inconvenienced or put in an uncomfortable position by speaking the truth. We have sayings that confirm this: “Call a spade a spade”, or “Just the truth, nothing but the truth”. Lying is considered totally unacceptable to us, and the truth is upheld as a sacrosanct principle.
Saving face is more important than speaking the truth
The Thai model is totally different. The first thing to understand is the concept of “saving face”. This is a hugely important idea in Thailand. It means that anything that can cause a person to be exposed, put in an uncomfortable position, be caught lying, look stupid, look ignorant, or even be associated with people who act improperly, causes a person to lose face and is to be avoided by all means. Yes that is a mouthful, but you better understand this when you visit Thailand.
Let’s look at some practical examples. You ask someone for directions and he or she does not know. Rather than admitting that, they might tell you anything just to avoid the discomfort of saying that they have no idea. So they send you on a wild goose chase, but in their mind they did nothing wrong because principle number one was to save face. Even if you know that the directions could not possibly be correct, the right way to act is to pretend that you believe it, thank the person, and go and ask someone else.
“Lying” can be the best social etiquette
Or you might find out that a friend or business partner has been lying to you. Rather than getting upset, you need to understand that in the Thai’s mind, it is bad behavior to tell you something that is uncomfortable, negative or compromising in any way. A lie that sounds good is better social etiquette than the truth that hurts.
What is “greengjai”?
When dealing with Thais, you have to read between the lines. You can never assume that people will be straightforward with you – many times they will not. You might call it lying, but the Thais call it proper etiquette. There is a word for it in the Thai language: greengjai. There is no direct translation, but it means being considerate, polite, making sure that nobody is losing face. This is a very important principle in the Thai culture.
When is a “lie” the proper way to act
In the west we generally choose the truth even if it hurts. In Thailand people will always choose greengjai over the truth. If the truth would hurt, then it should not and will not be told in Thailand. If there is a group of Thais and someone says something which is clearly not true, but it is greengjai, in the interest of harmony and good etiquette, then everyone will go along with the statement and pretend that it is true. And nobody will think of it as a lie. It is just the proper way to act.
How to keep your cool in Thailand
This can be very confusing for foreigners. It means you often cannot take at face value what a Thai is telling you. You should never challenge anyone openly since that would cause a loss of face. You should never raise your voice and show strong emotions since that will also cause a loss of face. If you do not know about greengjai and you insist on the western version of “truth”, people will still be polite to you and smile, but they will totally shut you out and you will get nowhere with them.
In Thailand you have to put your notion of truth aside to some degree and understand that what you consider a lie, the Thais see as proper behavior. They would not even understand what you are talking about if you try to tell someone they are lying. The word “lying” does not have the same absolute meaning as in the west. Remember that greengjai always overrides the “truth”.
The two sides to the “truth”
Once you get used to this concept, you will find that there are two sides to it. The challenging side is that it is much harder for westerners to do business in Thailand because you can never expect a straightforward approach in your dealings. On the positive side, it is very pleasant to not have to deal with harshness, direct confrontation, outbursts of emotion and aggression. The Thais override all of those with the famous Thai smile and with the greengjai attitude.
This is not about right or wrong, but it is essential to understand how concepts that we take for granted, like the truth, can be interpreted very differently in other cultures. It will help you make your stay in Thailand much more pleasant and enjoyable.
I have seen this many times, and sometimes it works, but it does not create genuine relationships between anyone. Furthermore, this lack of truth and need to not lose face keeps Thailand a very underdeveloped and troubled country because reality of the international scene and human justice can not take hold. How can progress be made when the Political and Business Elite use Greengjai to abuse the rest of the population? Also, this idea of not loosing face makes Education in Thailand a joke, a virtual show where nothing of real imporance takes place for most people. Cheating on tests, students not being allowed to fail, and people paying bribes for better grades, etc are not helpful in helping people live. Do parents and students spend time and money on a useless education? That is what it amounts to now and until Thais find a polite and realistic approach to life. So, as quaint and nice greengjai is, it is only helpful to the Political and Business elite.
Thanks for your comment
I have to agree with you as far as the educational system is concerned. The fact that Thai students cannot speak out openly and that teachers have a monopoly on being right and some other facts that you mentioned definitely stifle the learning system in Thailand. And this is no secret. I recently read a big editorial in the Bangkok Post where a Thai person was writing about all those issues as well.
As far as “greengjai” is concerned, while I am sure that this can be and is taken advantage of in some circles, I have to say that it is still very pleasant to be treated in a friendly and considerate way, even if it is superficial sometimes. But after traveling all around southeast Asia, I still find the Thai people the most friendly and easiest to deal with.
I know that there are negative things in Thailand as there are in all countries, but on balance I feel better here than in most places that I know.
The intent of my article is not to criticize Thailand or its political establishment since this can be done with every country on the planet. My intent is to show how to understand the Thai mentality and how to cope with it while you are in Thailand. I do not see a right or wrong here.
Every country in the world has good and bad sides, as do all people. It would not be realistic to expect Thailand or any other country to be close to perfect, that just does not go along with human nature. So I just look at the balance of things and see if the scale tips to the positive or negative side. And for me, the positive outweighs the negative in Thailand.