Thailand is the country which I have chosen as my home, and I have had many wonderful experiences with the Thai people. Sometimes there are amusing experiences also, and here is one of them. In this case it shows the belief of many Thais that all westerners are rich. I wish they were right! Many Thai women see a relationship with a western man as a way to improve their economic standing, and in many cases, this is exactly what happens. In my story here one woman tried a little too hard.
Is living in Thailand paradise? What are the pros and cons? Who is this lifestyle for? This is a behind-the-scenes look at living in Thailand as a foreigner.
When I tell people that I live in Thailand, I often get feedback along the lines of “You are so lucky”, “I would love to be able to do that too”, “You live in paradise”, or “What an amazing lifestyle”.
Then there are the people who are not sure on which continent Thailand is and who could not find it on a map if their life depended on it.
Here is a tip. China is easy to find on a map, it is plenty big enough. If you look for the lowest or southernmost part of China, then you will see Thailand right below there along with some other small countries like Burma, Cambodia and Vietnam. This part of the world is called “southeast Asia”. Read the rest of this entry
How to communicate effectively with your Thai partner.
Say you found a girlfriend or prospective wife in Thailand. You live together and get to know each other. In almost all cases your English will be much better than hers which makes communication easier for you. Here is a checklist of things you should not assume:
1. Don’t assume your partner understands you just because she smiles at you as if she understands you. Thais rarely if ever say that they don’t understand you. They will nod and smile even if they have no idea what you are saying.
Solution: Ask your partner what percentage she understands of what you are saying. Ask her if she understands 40 percent or 60 percent etc. You might be amazed to find out how much she has been missing. Ask her what you can do so that she understands more. It might be that you speak too fast and need to slow down. It might be that you use difficult words which you need to replace with simpler ones. It might be that you have to eliminate the use of difficult tenses, like “It would have been better….”, or “If you would have gone to….” Read the rest of this entry
Let’s be honest, millions of westerners have come to Thailand for that very reason. There are lots of websites promoting such relationships, and there are many dating sites where Thai women are actively searching for western men.
There are stories about Thai parents literally selling their daughter into prostitution or arranged marriage. Although such cases do exist, and not only in Thailand, they are a tiny percentage compared to the voluntary relationships which are the norm and which are the subject of this article. It is not my intention to focus on some cases of abuse in Thailand or to launch a moral campain against prostitution or judge age differences between men and women in relationships. Read the rest of this entry
After living in Thailand for many years and having received many Thai massages I have come up with a listing of different styles of Thai massage therapists you will encounter in Thailand.
1. The social type: This is the chatty type. She will immediately ask where you come from, if you speak Thai, if you are in a relationship etc. She will chat with you during the massage and she will have lively conversations with her fellow Thai massage therapists who are working in the same room. She keeps her mobile phone next to her and she will take any call. Either she will stop the massage until she is done talking or she will hold the phone with one hand and massage you with her free hand. She is not really focused on what she is doing and sees the massage scene as a perpetual social gathering. It might really annoy someone, but there are clients who actually enjoy this party atmosphere. Read the rest of this entry
Why are Thai men not interested in relationships with foreign women? And why don’t western women care about Thai men? After all Thailand is known for cross-cultural relationships and men come here by the tens of thousands to find female Thai partners. Why is this a one way street? Why do you rarely see Thai men with western women?
Who follows whom?
Thais are shy people compared to most westerners. Culturally it is not acceptable to show strong emotion, get angry, yell at people, confront someone head-on, or have an intense argument. On top of that in many Asian cultures the woman traditionally follows the man much more compared to the total equality concept that is prevalent in the west. And here we have a major sticking point. Read the rest of this entry
In this section of the series I want to focus on the part that Thai women play in the relationship arena. There is a wide range of behavior and attitude among Thai women. Especially outside the large cities you find many very conservative and traditional women who will not touch any man with a ten foot pole without the approval of the parents and the blessings of the monks.
At the other extreme you find women who know every trick in the book to extract money out of the “farang” (Thai name for westerners of caucasian origin). Many make a living with their skills. They work in the major tourist centers as bar girls, dancers, girlfriends-for-rent, or prostitutes. Read the rest of this entry
Why do many Thai women prefer a western man over a Thai man? What do the Thai men have to say about that? What is a second wife? Are women exploited in Thailand?
I have lived in Thailand for many years and I have never seen or heard of a case where Thai men are upset or jealous over relationships between Thai women and western men. The reason is quite simple: They are not looking for the same kind of woman, and they understand or at least assume that the Thai woman is after the money of the foreigner which is a perfectly acceptable scenario in their mind. Read the rest of this entry
In Thailand it is very common to see older Western men with young Thai girls on their arm. Are they prostitutes, girlfriends, or wives? Often the answer is not so obvious. Does paying for a woman make her a prostitute? In the western view, mostly yes. In the eastern view, not necessarily.
It is a fact that it is very easy to ‘rent’ a girlfriend for a period of time in Thailand. In all the major tourist centers like Bangkok, Pattaya, Ko Samui, or Chiang Mai there is a lively scene where foreigners connect with Thai women. Many times there is money involved. But the focus of this article is money in real relationships between Thai women and western men. Read the rest of this entry