How to communicate effectively with your Thai partner.

Say you found a girlfriend or prospective wife in Thailand. You live together and get to know each other. In almost all cases your English will be much better than hers which makes communication easier for you.  Here is a checklist of things you should not assume:

1. Don’t assume your partner understands you just because she smiles at you as if she understands you. Thais rarely if ever say that they don’t understand you. They will nod and smile even if they have no idea what you are saying.

Solution: Ask your partner what percentage she understands of what you are saying. Ask her if she understands 40 percent or 60 percent etc. You might be amazed to find out how much she has been missing. Ask her what you can do so that she understands more. It might be that you speak too fast and need to slow down. It might be that you use difficult words which you need to replace with simpler ones. It might be that you have to eliminate the use of difficult tenses, like “It would have been better….”, or “If you would have gone to….” Read the rest of this entry

How do you find a girlfriend or wife in Thailand?

Let’s be honest, millions of westerners have come to Thailand for that very reason. There are lots of websites promoting such relationships, and there are many dating sites where Thai women are actively searching for western men.

There are stories about Thai parents literally selling their daughter into prostitution or arranged marriage. Although such cases do exist, and not only in Thailand, they are a tiny percentage compared to the voluntary relationships which are the norm and which are the subject of this article. It is not my intention to focus on some cases of abuse in Thailand or to launch a moral campain against prostitution or judge age differences between men and women in relationships. Read the rest of this entry

Why are Thai men not interested in relationships with foreign women? And why don’t western women care about Thai men? After all Thailand is known for cross-cultural relationships and men come here by the tens of thousands to find female Thai partners. Why is this a one way street? Why do you rarely see Thai men with western women?

Who follows whom?

Thais are shy people compared to most westerners. Culturally it is not acceptable to show strong emotion, get angry, yell at people, confront someone head-on, or have an intense argument. On top of that in many Asian cultures the woman traditionally follows the man much more compared to the total equality concept that is prevalent in the west. And here we have a major sticking point. Read the rest of this entry

In Thailand it is very common to see older Western men with young Thai girls on their arm. Are they prostitutes, girlfriends, or wives? Often the answer is not so obvious. Does paying for a woman make her a prostitute? In the western view, mostly yes. In the eastern view, not necessarily.

It is a fact that it is very easy to ‘rent’ a girlfriend for a period of time in Thailand. In all the major tourist centers like Bangkok, Pattaya, Ko Samui, or Chiang Mai there is a lively scene where foreigners connect with Thai women. Many times there is money involved. But the focus of this article is money in real relationships between Thai women and western men. Read the rest of this entry