Comments on: Relationships in Thailand part 7 http://shamakern.com/relationships-in-thailand-part-7/ Thailand Review: Living, Traveling, Relationships, Thai Massage, Festivals Sun, 29 Jan 2012 17:31:50 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Shama http://shamakern.com/relationships-in-thailand-part-7/comment-page-1/#comment-33316 Shama Sat, 31 Dec 2011 20:07:37 +0000 http://shamakern.com/?p=1156#comment-33316 Thanks for your comment Kumroon. I am always glad to hear about successful relationships. My impression is that Thai man/western woman relationships work best when the Thai man has a higher education and speaks English well enough to allow for easy communication. Obviously this is the case with you. Also you clearly do not just follow "Thai culture", but you have excellent relationship values that are the basis for a truly successful partnership. My Thai wife and myself subscribe to the same values, and we have the best relationship of our lives since 9 years already. It is inspiring for me to hear about your good and successful relationship. Thanks for your comment Kumroon. I am always glad to hear about successful relationships. My impression is that Thai man/western woman relationships work best when the Thai man has a higher education and speaks English well enough to allow for easy communication. Obviously this is the case with you. Also you clearly do not just follow “Thai culture”, but you have excellent relationship values that are the basis for a truly successful partnership.

My Thai wife and myself subscribe to the same values, and we have the best relationship of our lives since 9 years already. It is inspiring for me to hear about your good and successful relationship.

]]> By: Kumroon Maksirisombat, Ph.D. http://shamakern.com/relationships-in-thailand-part-7/comment-page-1/#comment-33311 Kumroon Maksirisombat, Ph.D. Thu, 29 Dec 2011 20:47:08 +0000 http://shamakern.com/?p=1156#comment-33311 Hello, My name is Kumroon Maksirisombat, Ph.D. I am a Thai citizen, as I was born and raised in Thailand. I married my American wife for 36 years and we have two wonderful adult children together. I believed in any marriages, we must trust each other and we must have something in commom. My wife and I have the same work ethic, family values and outlook on life. I knew then and now that I need to give her the respect and valued her freedom and equality. I believed that if more western women would get to know Thai men better, they will likely to choose Thai men over western men. Statistically have shown that Thai men tend to support their wives more so than western men. We come from a very family oriented society. I wish you the best in your life and if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me. Best Wishes, Kumroon Maksirisombat, Ph.D. Hello,

My name is Kumroon Maksirisombat, Ph.D. I am a Thai citizen, as I was born and raised in Thailand. I married my American wife for 36 years and we have two wonderful adult children together. I believed in any marriages, we must trust each other and we must have something in commom. My wife and I have the same work ethic, family values and outlook on life. I knew then and now that I need to give her the respect and valued her freedom and equality. I believed that if more western women would get to know Thai men better, they will likely to choose Thai men over western men. Statistically have shown that Thai men tend to support their wives more so than western men. We come from a very family oriented society. I wish you the best in your life and if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.

Best Wishes,

Kumroon Maksirisombat, Ph.D.

]]> By: Shama http://shamakern.com/relationships-in-thailand-part-7/comment-page-1/#comment-32812 Shama Fri, 28 Oct 2011 04:46:55 +0000 http://shamakern.com/?p=1156#comment-32812 Yes Laura, it does seem that you do not represent the typical scenario which I am describing. When writing about something, you cannot help generalizing to some degree. There are always some people at the end of both spectrums who do not fall into the main category. And that's a good thing! Cross cultural relationship challenges often stem from an inability to communicate effectively due to language barriers or misinterpretation problems, or from the ignorance of one or both partners about the cultural background and way of thinking of their partner. Clearly none of these are an issue for you, and that's why I am not surprised that you don't experience all the challenges that I am writing about. Certainly it is possible to have a great cross cultural relationship. I know that because I have been in one for 9 years already. Like you, I have been in Thailand for a long time. I am writing my articles in order to help people who are less familiar with Thailand understand what they might experience here. If you know the potential pitfalls, you can deal with them, or avoid them. I hope that my series of relationship articles will help some people get into good relationships and stay in them. A little knowledge can go a long way compared with the risks of getting into a relationship with starry eyes and little understanding of another culture. Yes Laura, it does seem that you do not represent the typical scenario which I am describing. When writing about something, you cannot help generalizing to some degree. There are always some people at the end of both spectrums who do not fall into the main category. And that’s a good thing!

Cross cultural relationship challenges often stem from an inability to communicate effectively due to language barriers or misinterpretation problems, or from the ignorance of one or both partners about the cultural background and way of thinking of their partner. Clearly none of these are an issue for you, and that’s why I am not surprised that you don’t experience all the challenges that I am writing about.

Certainly it is possible to have a great cross cultural relationship. I know that because I have been in one for 9 years already. Like you, I have been in Thailand for a long time.

I am writing my articles in order to help people who are less familiar with Thailand understand what they might experience here. If you know the potential pitfalls, you can deal with them, or avoid them. I hope that my series of relationship articles will help some people get into good relationships and stay in them. A little knowledge can go a long way compared with the risks of getting into a relationship with starry eyes and little understanding of another culture.

]]> By: Laura O'Neil http://shamakern.com/relationships-in-thailand-part-7/comment-page-1/#comment-32781 Laura O'Neil Sat, 22 Oct 2011 11:55:00 +0000 http://shamakern.com/?p=1156#comment-32781 Oh and i met my boyfriend in a non-tourist town. Hardly any western faces at all. Oh and i met my boyfriend in a non-tourist town. Hardly any western faces at all.

]]> By: Laura O'Neil http://shamakern.com/relationships-in-thailand-part-7/comment-page-1/#comment-32780 Laura O'Neil Sat, 22 Oct 2011 11:48:09 +0000 http://shamakern.com/?p=1156#comment-32780 I am 100% British, but have quite asian features dark long hair, dark eyes, petite body fair skin etc. I have been living in Thailand since i was 14 years old and have found Thailand to be a very large candy shop!!! Thai men find me very attractive and i am continuously approached by Thai men. I found this article because me and my Thai boyfriend (of 3 years) are planning to get married. I suppose some of what you said is true that is mostly thai women are with western men but other parts i found hilarious and very untrue.I have had only Thai boyfriends and have been told that i am the kind of girl THEY dream about! i suppose growing up here, speaking the language and knowing the culture helps my situation. Laura. I am 100% British, but have quite asian features dark long hair, dark eyes, petite body fair skin etc. I have been living in Thailand since i was 14 years old and have found Thailand to be a very large candy shop!!! Thai men find me very attractive and i am continuously approached by Thai men. I found this article because me and my Thai boyfriend (of 3 years) are planning to get married. I suppose some of what you said is true that is mostly thai women are with western men but other parts i found hilarious and very untrue.I have had only Thai boyfriends and have been told that i am the kind of girl THEY dream about! i suppose growing up here, speaking the language and knowing the culture helps my situation.
Laura.

]]> By: Wit http://shamakern.com/relationships-in-thailand-part-7/comment-page-1/#comment-32720 Wit Thu, 13 Oct 2011 15:34:18 +0000 http://shamakern.com/?p=1156#comment-32720 Hi. I'm a Thai guy, but I have to say I totally agree with Shama on this one. I have Thai female friends whose boyfriend are really the jealous type, but they are nowhere near the level described by Jasmine. When he came to see her on campus and she was hanging out with us, he might give us some weird/jealous stare or go to the canteen and called her to meet up there ASAP, but that was as worst as it would get (we all became good friends, though, eventually). I am genuinely concerned about the "bizarre behaviors" described. Read my lips: NORMAL THAI MEN DON'T DO THESE THINGS. - Licking the chilli off your food is near fetish >_< - Even in university, "bird-feeding" is only done as a game in college initiation rites, usually by members of the same sex (it's more hilarious that way). - Not allowing you to smoke, drink, wipe your face, or take off a ring is psychotic. Yes, "When in doubt, get out." This is HIS peer insisting here! PS. I know this comment appears about a year later than it should, so perhaps I'm making this statement for future reference by other readers. Hi. I’m a Thai guy, but I have to say I totally agree with Shama on this one. I have Thai female friends whose boyfriend are really the jealous type, but they are nowhere near the level described by Jasmine. When he came to see her on campus and she was hanging out with us, he might give us some weird/jealous stare or go to the canteen and called her to meet up there ASAP, but that was as worst as it would get (we all became good friends, though, eventually).

I am genuinely concerned about the “bizarre behaviors” described. Read my lips: NORMAL THAI MEN DON’T DO THESE THINGS.

- Licking the chilli off your food is near fetish >_<

- Even in university, "bird-feeding" is only done as a game in college initiation rites, usually by members of the same sex (it's more hilarious that way).

- Not allowing you to smoke, drink, wipe your face, or take off a ring is psychotic.

Yes, "When in doubt, get out." This is HIS peer insisting here!

PS. I know this comment appears about a year later than it should, so perhaps I'm making this statement for future reference by other readers.

]]> By: Shama http://shamakern.com/relationships-in-thailand-part-7/comment-page-1/#comment-32624 Shama Wed, 07 Sep 2011 07:30:05 +0000 http://shamakern.com/?p=1156#comment-32624 Rima, I am always in favor of initiating good communication. This is especially important in cross cultural relationships. Often it is difficult for Thais to open up and reveal what is really on their mind. This is how they are brought up and it is often a new concept to them that it is possible and indeed very useful to openly talk about how you feel and what would bring the two partners closer together. Some Thai men can feel intimidated by such an open approach since Thai women do not usually do that. But I feel that without open communication about a relationship it does not have a big chance of working out. Judging from the comments to my article, there are some good western woman-Thai man relationships. I wish I could get a follow up on some of these comments a year later to see how it developed! You are another special case being arabic, so there is again another type of energy entering the picture that the Thai man is probably not at all familiar with. Try to discuss things openly and see how he reacts, and please let me know how it works out. I wish you success and a happy relationship! Rima, I am always in favor of initiating good communication. This is especially important in cross cultural relationships. Often it is difficult for Thais to open up and reveal what is really on their mind. This is how they are brought up and it is often a new concept to them that it is possible and indeed very useful to openly talk about how you feel and what would bring the two partners closer together. Some Thai men can feel intimidated by such an open approach since Thai women do not usually do that. But I feel that without open communication about a relationship it does not have a big chance of working out.

Judging from the comments to my article, there are some good western woman-Thai man relationships. I wish I could get a follow up on some of these comments a year later to see how it developed!

You are another special case being arabic, so there is again another type of energy entering the picture that the Thai man is probably not at all familiar with. Try to discuss things openly and see how he reacts, and please let me know how it works out. I wish you success and a happy relationship!

]]> By: rima http://shamakern.com/relationships-in-thailand-part-7/comment-page-1/#comment-32618 rima Mon, 05 Sep 2011 14:51:48 +0000 http://shamakern.com/?p=1156#comment-32618 hello thank u mr. shama for ur article u r right,most of those who wrote u back r half aisans so this makes it easier relationship with thai guys to me a different case, coz im arabic and i like a thai guy. we r friends but i like him more than a just friend. we go out together, have a lovely times and he is so nice and caring. however, i think it is a frienship with these limits. i showed him that i care too but thai r different from other nationalities seems they expect the girl to approach. I dont know what to do! rima hello
thank u mr. shama for ur article
u r right,most of those who wrote u back r half aisans so this makes it easier relationship with thai guys

to me a different case, coz im arabic and i like a thai guy. we r friends but i like him more than a just friend.
we go out together, have a lovely times and he is so nice and caring.
however, i think it is a frienship with these limits.
i showed him that i care too but thai r different from other nationalities seems they expect the girl to approach.
I dont know what to do!

rima

]]> By: Shama http://shamakern.com/relationships-in-thailand-part-7/comment-page-1/#comment-9717 Shama Mon, 03 Jan 2011 17:48:29 +0000 http://shamakern.com/?p=1156#comment-9717 Hi Juliana, I think that in recent years, mainly in the areas where there are lots of tourists or foreigners, Thai men show more of an interest in western women and lose some of their shyness. In the areas of Thailand where there is less presence of tourists and expats, Thai men tend to stay away from western women. I imagine that a gradual opening and loosening up of Thai-western relationships will continue especially amongst the younger generation. The ratio between Western woman/Thai man versus Western man/Thai woman relationship is still very extreme in favor of the latter. This might be changing slowly as you noticed in your own experience. I am glad you had some fun relationships with Thai men :) Hi Juliana,

I think that in recent years, mainly in the areas where there are lots of tourists or foreigners, Thai men show more of an interest in western women and lose some of their shyness. In the areas of Thailand where there is less presence of tourists and expats, Thai men tend to stay away from western women. I imagine that a gradual opening and loosening up of Thai-western relationships will continue especially amongst the younger generation. The ratio between Western woman/Thai man versus Western man/Thai woman relationship is still very extreme in favor of the latter. This might be changing slowly as you noticed in your own experience. I am glad you had some fun relationships with Thai men :)

]]> By: Juliana http://shamakern.com/relationships-in-thailand-part-7/comment-page-1/#comment-9495 Juliana Fri, 31 Dec 2010 15:42:44 +0000 http://shamakern.com/?p=1156#comment-9495 When I go out in Thailand, I am always pursued and talked to by Thai men. They are not as shy as you think. I have had a couple of Thai boyfriends as well and they were fun partners. I think your post has some valid information...but from what I can see, Thai men find western women attractive and worth talking to. When I go out in Thailand, I am always pursued and talked to by Thai men. They are not as shy as you think. I have had a couple of Thai boyfriends as well and they were fun partners. I think your post has some valid information…but from what I can see, Thai men find western women attractive and worth talking to.

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