It’s the latest cool thing to do, and since there is very little judgment towards gays in Thailand compared to western countries, they flaunt it without having to worry about enduring any social consequences. Where I live, in Chiang Mai, I see lots of western men walking around hand-in-hand with young Thai men.

Poor women – with all the gays, ladyboys and monks, their choices are shrinking. But I have noticed that they are fighting back their way. There is also a big trend towards lesbianism in Thailand. The relationship scene in Thailand can indeed be very confusing when you try to figure out who is with whom, and who else is in the picture, or rather hiding in the picture.

Thailand is quite a colorful place with all those transgender, transsexual, homosexual, bisexual, extramarital, multiple relationship, paid relationship and whatever else situations. But since Thais are quite tolerant in this regard, it all somehow fits into the social framework.

Maybe this accounts for the often extreme jealousy of Thai women. It is hard enough for them to find a good partner, as you pointed out, and then it is even harder for them to keep their man, given the availability of females and the Thai (male) tradition of having more than one wife.

I am glad that we disagree on some issues. If that would not be the case, there would be very little dialogue here:)

Although I want to add a bit to your last response to Lila:
You write: “I have no doubt that if there is a young, attractive western woman, many Thai men will find her attractive. However I know many western women here in Thailand who might not have perfectly shaped bodies and are middle aged, and Thai men are generally not interested in them at all. They prefer younger and prettier Thai women.”
Of course, generally you are right (Although I’d go even more general and say “Men prefer younger and prettier women”). It’s a kind of a natural law I guess. This is the same everywhere in the world. But looking at Thailand, men (western and Thai) have a bit of an advantage, as there are more women than (straight) men (please correct me if I’m wrong. I’m yet to find trustworthy statistics on it, but looking around it does seem that way).

It is not only for western (middle-aged, less attractive) women but also for Thai women (as you also point out, that they live in fear of being deserted by their husbands). I have many female single-friends in their early 30s who can’t find a decent boyfriend or who prefer to stay single because the choice is not great (if I had to choose between a gigolo or a closet-gay I would prefer to stay single too). There are decent Thai guys, but they are usually taken.

I do disagree with your “all western men find Thai women on average more attractive than western women. Thai men agree with that.” because I think this is up to personal taste. But I guess we have different tastes and experiences.
Personally I think they are just as attractive (or not) just compare a 20 year old western woman with a 20 year old Thai/Asian women. You will probably prefer the Asian looks while someone else will prefer the western looks. But you are right that on average westerners will be more overweight.

Ok, I’ll stop here now. Again, appreciate your insights and response, even though we disagree here and there.

At the risk of offending some western women, pretty much all western men find Thai women on average more attractive than western women. Thai men agree with that. Compared to western women, there are very few overweight women in Thailand, although this is starting to change.

I have no doubt that if there is a young, attractive western woman, many Thai men will find her attractive. However I know many western women here in Thailand who might not have perfectly shaped bodies and are middle aged, and Thai men are generally not interested in them at all. They prefer younger and prettier Thai women.

Youthfulness is a much bigger factor here in Thailand than in the west where generally most couples are not so far apart age-wise. I know of tons of cases where Thai men have dropped their partners to go off with a younger woman, and many Thai wives live in fear of that.

I assume you are fairly young and good looking. Wait for 10 or 20 years, and you will be much more likely to agree with the statements in my article, because by then certain realities in Thailand will have caught up with you.

Most people who posted objections to my “Relationships in Thailand” articles are young women who have their age and their good looks going for them. Middle aged western women are facing a very different reality here in most cases.

And even there you can find exceptions. But, as I mentioned several times before, my article is based on averages, not on exceptions. And after 14 years here in Thailand, I have a pretty good understanding of what is happening in Thailand.

Thanks for sharing your opinions and please feel free to disagree with me.

You make some very valid points, like the different reasons why many men come to Thailand compared to women. And of course Thai man/western woman relationships can work – they are just a small minority compared to Thai woman/western man relationships, and they face more challenges as I pointed out in my article.

My writing is based on my experience of living in Thailand for well over a decade, being married to a Thai woman, and having spoken to countless couples, both Thai and farang as well as men and women.

It is quite normal that if you try to present an average of anything you end up with a bell curve, meaning that even if you catch the largest part of the bell curve, there will always be a smaller but still substantial percentage on the outer edges of the bell curve which falls outside of your perimeters.

Since I can never accurately represent everybody’s experience, I can at least stimulate some lively comments like yours which add interesting perspectives from the outer edges of the bell curve. And those might gradually, with the rapidly changing cultural environment, gravitate toward the inside of the bell curve. In 20 years from now, my article might be totally outdated and superseded by a new generation which will have changed significantly.

As of today, I am sure that my observations apply to a majority of relationships. This does not invalidate your experiences at all, and quite honestly, I hope that your experiences will become the norm one day.

I have spoken to so many western men about their observations regarding western and Thai women, and I have noticed a definite consensus. Clearly western women are more feminist than Thai women. This is quite easy since the concept of feminism practically does not exist in Thailand, but it has become an established phenomenon in the west.

Of course not all western women are hard core feminists – probably very few of them are – but they tend to be more direct, more outspoken, have a higher degree of self confidence, and are more willing to tell you in your face if they don’t like something.

Thai women have a natural sweetness that appeals to western men and they are, like Thais in general, less inclined to be confrontational than their western counterparts. And this is not just my opinion. Most western men share this perception.

Like most things in life, this is not a black and white, good versus bad issue. It is not a value judgment, but just a way of pointing out cultural attitudes and different ways of thinking and acting.

I have good western female friends and enjoy the ease of communication and understanding of issues that we share due to similar cultural backgrounds. And I enjoy my relationship with my Thai wife which has very different aspects that I appreciate.

We cannot always get everything from one person. It would be unreasonable to expect our partner to be our ideal match in terms of communication, life style, sexually, intellectually, physically etc.

Thai and western women bring different things to the table. For me, when it comes to relationships, I have thrown my lot in with a Thai women, and I am very happy with my choice. And I agree with you, love can solve many issues. I hope that lots of people here in Thailand find a loving relationship, whatever their gender, race or cultural background.

Thanks for your input. There are several possibilities:
1. Maybe you are so drop dead gorgeous that the Thai boys just can’t help themselves
2. Maybe your way of dressing feels suggestive to them
3. Maybe the winds of change of the younger generation is picking up steam
4. Maybe all three above apply

In either case: good for you and I am glad you had a great time here!