Comments on: Relationships in Thailand Part 1 http://shamakern.com/relationships-in-thailand-part-1/ Thailand Review: Living, Traveling, Relationships, Thai Massage, Festivals Sun, 29 Jan 2012 17:31:50 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: adam toulouse http://shamakern.com/relationships-in-thailand-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-596 adam toulouse Wed, 12 May 2010 16:56:04 +0000 http://shamakern.com/?p=611#comment-596 I left a comment on a simmilar website i am back in the uk for a holday. I sell visas for farrang to take their spouces back to their homeland. To my surprise its not just men bringing their ladys back to the uk but in smaller numbers english older women with young thai men. But all i can say the system of thailands womens roles is in not all about the man. The man is the bread winner and has to have a house just like in the middle east. I think western countries should not scrutinise thailand or asia when they dont put their familys in old peoples homes and when you meet the thai elite they are modest and not people who think they are somthing they are not. Also i cant figure out why so many farrang are still getting ripped off by the bar girls Adam. oxford I left a comment on a simmilar website i am back in the uk for a holday. I sell visas for farrang to take their spouces back to their homeland. To my surprise its not just men bringing their ladys back to the uk but in smaller numbers english older women with young thai men. But all i can say the system of thailands womens roles is in not all about the man. The man is the bread winner and has to have a house just like in the middle east. I think western countries should not scrutinise thailand or asia when they dont put their familys in old peoples homes and when you meet the thai elite they are modest and not people who think they are somthing they are not. Also i cant figure out why so many farrang are still getting ripped off by the bar girls Adam. oxford

]]> By: Relationships in Thailand part 2 :Spirit of Thailand http://shamakern.com/relationships-in-thailand-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-39 Relationships in Thailand part 2 :Spirit of Thailand Thu, 26 Nov 2009 14:43:17 +0000 http://shamakern.com/?p=611#comment-39 [...] discussed some aspects of those relationships in my first article. Here we are going to get very personal. Why do so many Thai women want a relationship with a [...] [...] discussed some aspects of those relationships in my first article. Here we are going to get very personal. Why do so many Thai women want a relationship with a [...]

]]> By: Isabella http://shamakern.com/relationships-in-thailand-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-38 Isabella Thu, 26 Nov 2009 08:50:45 +0000 http://shamakern.com/?p=611#comment-38 wonderful! YOu know Shama I think about these topics all the time as i said having been in Thailand many times over a period of 25 years and now living here. I also think without much difficulty that living in Chieng Mai and living in Bkk generate a world of differences.. I see the BTS and MRT as a replication of New York's or London's tube with the difference that people are more relaxed... however, there isn't a single look at each other... Chieng Mai the province of the North is maybe waht remains of real Thailand... the actualy ethnic origin of thai in addition to be a much smaller urban center. great topics you bring out.. we'll meet soon as am coming to CM nxt month. Would be really great to have the opinion of Thai men on these topics too... wonderful! YOu know Shama I think about these topics all the time as i said having been in Thailand many times over a period of 25 years and now living here. I also think without much difficulty that living in Chieng Mai and living in Bkk generate a world of differences.. I see the BTS and MRT as a replication of New York’s or London’s tube with the difference that people are more relaxed… however, there isn’t a single look at each other…
Chieng Mai the province of the North is maybe waht remains of real Thailand… the actualy ethnic origin of thai in addition to be a much smaller urban center.
great topics you bring out.. we’ll meet soon as am coming to CM nxt month.
Would be really great to have the opinion of Thai men on these topics too…

]]> By: admin http://shamakern.com/relationships-in-thailand-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-36 admin Wed, 25 Nov 2009 19:16:05 +0000 http://shamakern.com/?p=611#comment-36 Isabella, I thought about your comments some more, and I did replace the "easy to get" term in two out of three places. I kept the first one since I want to make a point as explained above. So two thirds modification should help not to cause any potential offense among female readers. Isabella, I thought about your comments some more, and I did replace the “easy to get” term in two out of three places. I kept the first one since I want to make a point as explained above. So two thirds modification should help not to cause any potential offense among female readers.

]]> By: admin http://shamakern.com/relationships-in-thailand-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-35 admin Wed, 25 Nov 2009 19:02:03 +0000 http://shamakern.com/?p=611#comment-35 Hi Isabella, I appreciate your comments. The term "easy to get" is not my perception but is meant to reflect the attitude of many men who come to Thailand in order to find a woman. And I agree with you, this attitude can be demeaning. That is what I am trying to convey with this term. But if you could suggest a better term that still reflects my idea, I can easily change it in the article. This first article is just the beginning of several about this topic. I am highlighting the monk-gay-ladyboy aspect because many Thai women have mentioned it to me. They complain about a lack of available men to choose from. Certainly there are different cultural aspects about the Thai-farang relationships and I will address those in my next post. My idea is to talk about this subject from a number of different angles. Thanks for taking the time to write thoughtful comments! Hi Isabella, I appreciate your comments. The term “easy to get” is not my perception but is meant to reflect the attitude of many men who come to Thailand in order to find a woman. And I agree with you, this attitude can be demeaning. That is what I am trying to convey with this term. But if you could suggest a better term that still reflects my idea, I can easily change it in the article.

This first article is just the beginning of several about this topic. I am highlighting the monk-gay-ladyboy aspect because many Thai women have mentioned it to me. They complain about a lack of available men to choose from. Certainly there are different cultural aspects about the Thai-farang relationships and I will address those in my next post. My idea is to talk about this subject from a number of different angles. Thanks for taking the time to write thoughtful comments!

]]> By: Isabella http://shamakern.com/relationships-in-thailand-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-33 Isabella Tue, 24 Nov 2009 11:15:15 +0000 http://shamakern.com/?p=611#comment-33 Shama, you are very straighforward... and this is an indicator that you feel confortable in Thailand. This is good. There is one aspect though which is disturbing and pertains to somet terminology u used with regard to 'women'. Women are obviously not a commodity. So a terminology of "to get" or 'are thai women easy to get" is depreciative of the premises you just elaborated on their attractiveness, kindness and so on. In all countries there are beautiful and less beautiful people, either men or women or third gender. It is important. It is important to keep good terminology simply also because you wish to focus on relationships and voluntary ones, besides the fact that women nor men are to get ot not... As a matter of clarification, please note that as per official worldwide population indicators there are more women than men in every country of the world except in 2 countries one being Chile and the other one I forgot, (sorry, i forgt my books). There are more boys than girls at birth but there are more neonatal death of boys than girls,worldwide, of course. The temporary lack of men due to monkhood, homosexuality and third gender are not the reasons for thai women be keen or not to engage with foreigners. The way you present it could lead to think that polygamy is based on shortage of men which it is not, rather on cultural or socio-economic patterns but this is another topic. A suggestion for you would be to base your presentation on cultural aspects of relationships and how the cross-cultural is mutually benefitial and/ or how to move beyond the common bottlenecks such as languages, understanding and many more. this is good to move beyond the traditional vision that Thailand is a land of smile for men where women are available. Which I think wold gain in aksing thai men how they perceive this label.... Keep up the good intentions! Shama, you are very straighforward… and this is an indicator that you feel confortable in Thailand. This is good. There is one aspect though which is disturbing and pertains to somet terminology u used with regard to ‘women’. Women are obviously not a commodity. So a terminology of “to get” or ‘are thai women easy to get” is depreciative of the premises you just elaborated on their attractiveness, kindness and so on. In all countries there are beautiful and less beautiful people, either men or women or third gender. It is important. It is important to keep good terminology simply also because you wish to focus on relationships and voluntary ones, besides the fact that women nor men are to get ot not…

As a matter of clarification, please note that as per official worldwide population indicators there are more women than men in every country of the world except in 2 countries one being Chile and the other one I forgot, (sorry, i forgt my books). There are more boys than girls at birth but there are more neonatal death of boys than girls,worldwide, of course. The temporary lack of men due to monkhood, homosexuality and third gender are not the reasons for thai women be keen or not to engage with foreigners. The way you present it could lead to think that polygamy is based on shortage of men which it is not, rather on cultural or socio-economic patterns but this is another topic.

A suggestion for you would be to base your presentation on cultural aspects of relationships and how the cross-cultural is mutually benefitial and/ or how to move beyond the common bottlenecks such as languages, understanding and many more. this is good to move beyond the traditional vision that Thailand is a land of smile for men where women are available. Which I think wold gain in aksing thai men how they perceive this label….

Keep up the good intentions!

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